Harry Potter au where Harry didn’t lose being a parsletongue and Albus buys a snake as a pet one year because snakes are cool and one day just walks in on Harry and the snake having a deep conversation
Albus is 17 and loses his virginity in his room and forgets the snake talks to his dad and when Harry gets home the snake is all like OH MY GOSH YOU’D NEVER GUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHAT HAPPENED
fun things to do in front of nerdy boys
intentionally mix up zelda and link
refer to anime as “japanese kids cartoons”
pronounce pokemon as pokey-mon
respond to everything they say with “oh yeah my baby brother likes that!”
I am a nerdy boy and I assure you the only reactions you would get from this are crying or outbursts of rage
you act like your tears aren’t EXACTLY what i want
Oh, right. The marathon. The marathon for Disneyland, the marathon chosen especially to run around Disneyland, Disneyland’s marathon. That marathon?
THIS IS SO SPECIAL TO ME
"i understand women have it bad but men have it bad too"
"i mean, women are almost equal to men as it is"
"i’m not a feminist, i believe in equality"
Ladies and gentlemen….a spring-loaded dick in a box from the 1800s. It made for a great gift
humanity’s sense of humour has not progressed much in the last hundred years
whenever an american pronounces herb as ‘urb’ it shocks me. do you say elp as well instead of help or like air instead of hair or like umour instead of humour wtf the h is there for a reason